Spoiler Alert: HOPE Wins
| Michele Brian Duggan’s Story ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ Over the past ten years, I’ve met Brian a few times around Appliance Park. He’s funny. He commands a room. He’s got a “no big deal” vibe that sets people at ease. And he uses just enough sarcasm to make you wonder who’s really in there. Turns out, it’s a lot more than I could have guessed. Imagine a movie about a white kid growing up in the projects with a drug-addicted mom. Constantly hungry. Strange and violent adults moving in and out of the picture. A closet for a bedroom. Stabbings. Drive-bys. Drug deals. Imagine the worst-case scenario. Now, double it. That was Brian Duggan’s life growing up. You wouldn’t believe it if I told you has become his sort-of mantra. “At five years old, a stray bullet grazed my nose,” says Brian, senior infrastructure architect at GE Appliances, a Haier company. “At six, I was stabbed. Not long after, I witnessed a suicide. Life was violent.” Going two to three days without food was normal for Brian. Watching adults attack each other was commonplace. “It was just so dark,” says Brian. “But you kind of just learn to keep your head down and survive.” And survive he did. Brian’s intelligence is off the charts. He wouldn’t tell you that, but I will. His (undiagnosed) Asberger’s came in handy as he tried to make sense of his chaotic world. And yet, as a casualty of the poor education system, he didn’t learn to read or write until the fifth grade. Knowing him today, an accomplished professional with a beautiful wife and grown children, you’d never know. “Death felt like the easy way out,” says Brian. “And I don’t like easy. I don’t respect easy.” Turns out, for Brian, the harder path has been the sweeter one. “You have to learn to embrace your problems,” says Brian. “You think facing it will be harder, but ignoring a problem only makes it bigger. You’ve got to learn to walk with them.” You can hear the pleading in Brian’s voice as he talks. He feels the weight of every word. And for good reason. To date, Brian has had 17 friends commit suicide. “Everyone struggles,” says Brian. “Everyone. But you have to decide which is going to be stronger—you or the problem. No one is going to improve your life but you.” Lots of people ask Brian how he survived it all. His answer is simple: helping others. “The only way to get yourself off the ledge is to pour your life into other people,” says Brian. “It gives you purpose. When you’re in the hole, helping others out is the fastest way to get yourself out too.” I asked Brian if he has a formula for hard days. He spoke so readily, as if he’d created this list long ago and lives by it. So, if you’re struggling today and looking for some advice, take it from a guy who knows. Brian has you covered. Call your friends. Your real friends. Don’t call someone who will coddle you. Call someone who will challenge you. Be open & honest. Own your downtime. Push yourself to be productive and active. Do things that make you come alive. Dig in with a hobby. Invest in a thing that brings you joy. Make sure your outside matches your inside. Don’t be fake, and don’t care what others think of you. Remember: Perfection is impossible. Kindness isn’t. Check on someone else. Pick up the phone to see if they’re ok. “Everything is a test. Life is a test,” says Brian. “And I’ve accepted the challenge.” Listening to Brian talk, I couldn’t help but feel better. He seems to have harnessed fear in a way that most of us haven’t needed to. It’s kind of inspiring. Especially from a man. He’s just real. “There are so many expectations on men,” says Brian. “We suffer in silence.” According to the National Institute of Health, men are more likely to die by suicide without any obvious warning signs to the people around them. Men are also four times more likely than women to die by suicide. “We don’t have to be tough,” says Brian. “Tough is killing us. We don’t have to be men. We need to be human. The strongest ones know how to talk about their weakness.” And, from where I sit, hearing how this traumatized child has become a beacon of hope, I know Brian is just that. Strong. You don’t have to fight alone. If you’re struggling and need help, call the national suicide hotline at 988. Life Happens: Free, Confidential Support for You GE Appliances’ Employee Assistance Program (EAP) offers free, confidential support for employees and their families. From managing depression and addiction to caring for elderly family members, these resources are here to help with personal challenges and mental health needs. Access care today at GEAppliancesWellWithin.com to explore confidential support and 14+ resources and inspiring employee stories about what matters most—your emotional, social, physical, and financial wellbeing. |
